“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”  -Colossians 3:17

Yeah, so I am challenging myself to learn scripture and whip this old, fat body into shape!  I want to run a 5k race…again.  I mean I did the one, but then I got pregnant and was never able to improve.  I feel as if I’m starting at square one all over again.  Only this time the square feels even bigger and more out of shape. 

The thing about doing a 5k is that you have to TRAIN for a 5k.  Yeah….  So in training for a 5k, I have to actually start running again.  Do you people have ANY idea what it is like to jog with 100 extra pounds on your body?  It’s like stuffing your clothes with jello and running around.  No, really!!!  EVERY body part jiggles and wiggles.  OK, maybe that is TMI, but I’m just keeping it real.  AND it impacts your joints.  That’s a ton of extra weight on these joints!  I know what I feel like I look like running, and I’m fairly certain I look even worse than I can picture!!!  So my fear is that I am going to embarrass myself, along with my sweet friend who has agreed to train with me. 

Here is the thing about this whole situation.  It is extremely reminiscent of when I started swimming again.  I made the walk of shame to the pool in my suit, fat jiggling everywhere.  I was glad I did it!  It was invigorating to be back in the pool and experience the feel of the water.  The monotony of breathing, stroking, kicking, laps….numbers.  I THRIVE with numbers.

I suffer from a mild form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  Not the “I like things my way sort”, but the “I need medication/genuine chemical imbalance” sort.  I always get annoyed with people who tell me they must have it also.  Trust me, what you call O. C. D. is really just being anal retentive.  That being said… My O. C. D. loves the monotony of swimming and jogging.  I can count my strokes, my breaths, my steps, my laps.  It gives me calm and balance.  It’s like free therapy for my condition! 

The problem, I also suffer from Severe Depressive Disorder.  This is also a genuine condition.  I, again, can’t stand for people to say, “I know how you feel!  I’ve been depressed also.”  Ummmm… no, you really don’t.  Unless you have had a genuine depressive condition, you have no idea what it is like to have the chronic pain and fatigue that comes with depression.  It isn’t just a mental feeling of “being down”.  It’s a physiological condition as well.  Depression affects your body in every way.  It makes you “blue”, but it also makes you tired, sore, apathetic, and just generally NUMB.

 I explain all this so that you can understand the pull of this exercise in my mind.  It’s good therapy, but it is hard to get myself motivated to participate in it.  I feel insecure and afraid, but I have to remind myself that the benefits far outweigh that fear.  So, as I move forward I remind myself that all the aspects of my life; what I say and what I do, should bring glory to God.  I should do everything to honor Him. 

Here I go again, making my walk of shame onto the track, this time.  I WILL put my mind over matter and just go out there.  I will put on the compression shorts and pray I don’t embarrass myself.  Most of all, I will suck it up and just do it because God gave me this body.  I need to treat it like a temple of the Holy Spirit, because that is just what it is. 

Let’s hope that poor Chyenne doesn’t run away from me!  Let’s hope that I can daily defeat the depressive part of my mind that always attempts to trip me up and cause me to fail.  No more numb, overweight Terri!  Welcome the new, improved, Joyful and healthy woman!

“Therefore, I urge you, Brothers, in view of God’s mercy, present yourselves as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God. This is your spiritual act of worship.” Romans 12:1

I have struggled to make good food choices since I became pregnant with ML.  What is worse is that I became very sedentary in my lifestyle, due to some pregnancy complications.  Since my sweet little princess has gotten here, it is a never ending battle of eat this, not this!  Get up and work out!  I know you’re tired, but you’re also fat!

I swore I would never wear this one shirt EVER again, once I lost weight while SR was on deployment.  Alas, as I got ready for church Sunday, I had no choice but to put the offending shirt on….and I sobbed!  Weight loss is simply mind over matter.  You HAVE to make up your mind and just do it!  For me weight loss takes on many different meanings:

1.       A healthier lifestyle

2.       More energy

3.       Better mental clarity and awareness

4.       When I feel good, I feel good ABOUT myself!

5.       Depression becomes an annoyance and not a battle

6.       I will LOOK better

The list could go on and on and on.  I set a good example for my kids.  I will be around to see my grandkids!  There are literally HUNDREDS of reasons why someone of my stature SHOULD lose weight.  I KNOW why I should, but knowing and WANTING it are 2 totally different things.  This past weekend, I saw myself in the mirror, and I WANTED it!  Last week as I was so tired and lethargic I couldn’t get anything done, I WANTED it. 

When you WANT to lose weight, healthy choices are easy.  When you WANT to become a healthier person, it’s enjoyable to drink lemon water instead of soda; green tea instead of coffee.  When you WANT to lose weight and become a healthier, better you it is EASY to get the exercises in.  The most important word here is WANT!  You must WANT it. 

The good thing for me is that it hasn’t been so long that I’ve forgotten how good it feels to white water raft, swim 3 miles, and climb stairs without being winded!  I haven’t forgotten putting on those jeans and liking the progress, seeing the fat melt from my face, neck, arms, etc.  I WANT that back!

Mostly, scripture tells us that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit, and boy am I ashamed of what I have done with God’s temple!!!!  I want to serve and honor God with my body.  Not just in the way I conduct myself, but in how I treat it.  I want to fuel my body in such a way that serving is not tiring, but invigorating!

I’m giving myself a 30 day challenge!!!!  Today I made myself do 50 squats and an hour of walking.  I was SUPPOSE to do burpees, but in my defense, I HATE THEM!  I could not make my mind defeat the lack of excitement I felt.  However, tomorrow is a new day, and with it a new challenge.  Tomorrow I will meet my goals no matter what! 

Stayed tuned as I track my journey to a better, fitter me.  I am challenging myself to learn more about the Lord and draw upon His strength as I reach my ultimate goal…. 115 lbs!  “What’s impossible with men is possible with God.”  -Luke 18:27. This is slightly out of context, but my point is that ALL things are possible with God.  And believe me, without God, this is an impossible task for me!  Let’s see how God changes me inside and out!