OK, so I have come to realize that making time to exercise with an 8 week old baby and a 7 year old child….nearly impossible!  I have no idea how moms do this!  I can barely keep the house clean!  Plus, no one tells you that you get so hungry you could eat an entire side of beef when you are nursing!  I mean I seriously have never been this hungry in my entire life!  NOW I remember how I gained 100 lbs after Alex was born. 

So the answer to my problem is quality instead of quantity….which is a problem when I am craving sweets!  I think I could drink a large chocolate shake from Jack’s every day.  When I thought it over, I realized that I craved things like yogurt, chocolate milk, and ice cream when I nursed Alex.  So my thought is that my body must be craving calcium and vitamin D. So, fat free yogurt with granola for breakfast, 1% milk, and calcium supplements to help get the thing my body needs.  AND an occasional chocolate shake ;)

I, also found that I can drink a fruity protein shake in the morning with a cup of coffee when I don’t feel like yogurt.  If I add 1 cup of 1% milk, I can get 33 grams of protein for less than 500 calories.  That is a good way to get nutrients from fruits, get some calcium and vitamins in a quick, easy way.  I can cook chicken breasts or lean meat one day a week, store them in the fridge and eat with a salad or some veggie and have a good, high protein lunch pretty easily. 

Having my food situation under control will help immensely!  The problem is that I WANT to exercise so badly!  How can I get my body back in lean shape and lose weight if I can’t find time to exercise???  I want to have a clean, organized house.  I want to spend time with my son and daughter and enjoy them now.  I want to exercise and get healthier.  Now how do I make ALL of these things happen???????  THIS is my current quandary.  Stay tuned to see if I can find a reasonable resolution!

OK, so I know it has been a while…about 9 months I suppose.  I had every intention of blogging through the pregnancy, but it just didn’t work out.  There were many bumps along the pregnancy road, but we arrived to the end, successfully, with a beautiful daughter.  (The first girl on my husband’s side in 53 years.  The first on mine in 11.)

So I, to my own dislike, gained about 40 lbs in the end.  (I have already gotten 16 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight!)  This was so frustrating for me.  The feeling of being pregnant was so much like being overweight.  I had just shed that part of me.  It was hard to put it back on without having resentment, regardless of the reward in the end.  I know that sounds very selfish, but it is honest, and you guys read for my candor.

So, once I got past the trauma of a repeat c-section, (Which really WAS as much of a breeze as everyone said, fyi!)  And I actually got to SEE and HOLD my bouncing baby girl; it did indeed feel worth it…for a while.  Then, once I drug my pre-pregnancy/post weight loss clothes out of storage and half of them did not fit as well as they had, I knew I had to get back on the bandwagon and lose the weight.  The only problem is that, though not nearly as severe as with my first child, I was/am struggling with a bit of post-partum depression.  

There is NOTHING worse than when you are nursing a baby, carting around a 7 year old, and really all you want to do is sit in bed and cry.  I do make myself shower, most days. (DON’T JUDGE ME!) 90% of the time I actually do get my teeth brushed before noon.  I make myself leave the house.  Though it helps that I have to leave at least 2 times a day to drop off and pick up Alex from school, making it necessary to get out. 

But I regress!  I have set new goals.  I simply have to make the necessary changes for me to meet these goals.  I must set aside my Hershey bars and stop drinking so much Sprite.  Don’t give me that drink diet crap.  I HATE diet drinks!  I have to drink more water and add in my fruits and veggies.  Also, and most importantly, I will have to MAKE TIME for exercise.  THIS is where my biggest challenge lies.

I don’t know how many of my 2 readers actually breastfed when they had their kids, but I assure you, I am all but glued to this kid nearly 24 hours a day!  I promise you I have turned into a dairy cow!  Though I love the bond and the health benefits, it never stops tempting me to just go buy a can of formula and give in to my need for convenience!  Straight up stubbornness and lack of cash are what drives me to continue.  OH!  And the benefits to my daughter of course…ahem….

So, stay tuned as I strive to reach my goal to complete a triathlon, and in the future a marathon!  First, I will work back up to a 5k.  I fear there wasn’t much exercise during my pregnancy due to several complications and a few set limitations.  So I might actually have fallen several steps back.  I will, however, build back up and be even better than before.  Besides, I’m starting ahead of my previous game, right? 

Expecting....

So a couple of weeks ago I fell asleep in the car line, I couldn't eat the dinner I warmed up, and then went to bed an hour earlier than usual.  In turn my husband, not so subtly, placed a pregnancy test on the back of the toilet.  The next morning I humored him and took the test.  Not even 30 seconds passed before that second line came out clear as day.  I am pregnant!  WOW!

My FIRST thought was: This explains SO MUCH!  My second thought, as horrid as it sounds, was: But what about my weight loss journey?!  I'm well aware of how terribly selfish that sounds, and I really do feel awful for even thinking it.  However, the whole point of this blog is to get my thoughts out there in an honest way.  So there it is.  Also, I think that anyone who has ever gone through a journey like mine, you are nodding your head.

So, for the first week and a half I was a little pouty, and not so much excited about the news.  Honestly, it wasn't even just the entire weight issue.  It had a LOT to do with it being so unexpected, though I don't really know why I didn't expect it.  Just saying!  It had to do with money, space, time, are we ready?  You get the idea. Then at the beginning of the week, I had some issues.  Welcome reality!  I have a living person in my body!  I saw the heart beat and fell in love.  Now I'm excited to nurture and grow this little person so i can meet them some day soon!

So my first trip to the doctor she tells me that I can keep up the same activity level, and do all the things I have been doing, just listen to my body.  This was so exciting!  My doctor told me I could continue to lose weight as long as I was eating enough calories for the baby to continue to grow!  JACKPOT!!!!!!  What she forgot to mention is that after 50 yards of swimming, I would be so winded I thought I gained 45 lbs already!  She didn't tell me taking a shower would take all the energy I had.  WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY BODY!!!!????

I know what you are thinking.  "Terri, you already have a child.  You should know this."  You are correct, but how we forget after almost 7 years!  I forgot that you can't go 45 minutes without having to PEE, and that it is trial and error until you figure out what you can actually eat....which isn't much, apparently.  I forgot that walking 2 laps in the first trimester is like jogging 3 on a good day.  UGH!  So, frustrating! 

So, after I get an all clear from my doctor next week, I am hoping to at least get into an easy swim workout.  Maybe a good walk or even a couple of sit ups.  My goal is to survive the 1st trimester so I can get back into a good routine again.  Wish me luck!  This should be an interesting twist on my blog!