Saturday, February 12, 2011

Simple Brown Packages

So I finally decided that today was the day I would unpack my bags from an amazing weekend with my better half.  "A week later!?" you say?  Yeah.  But if it was the last time you were going to smell your significant other's clothes smelling like them for at least a year, you might wait a week to wash them, too.  All morning I have thought and thought and analyzed and worried and fretted and wrung my hands and cried.....then I had an epiphany!

Today is a special day!  God is answering some very desperate prayers today!  God is saving lives today!  I can wring my hands and cry and worry all day long, but then I give God NO GLORY for what He is doing in my husband, child, and my life today.  "You mean God get's glory in war?!"  Yeah, I do.  Not for the war, but for what He can make come out of it.

Remember Joseph?  His brothers were jealous and sold him off.  Then one day there was a famine and Joseph interpreted a dream and saved them from famine?  (That is the Terri abbreviated version, and may be slightly off BUT) Joseph told his brothers what you meant for evil God meant for good!  Had he never been sold to slavery, he would never find favor with the king and in turn never interpret the dream that saved his nation from famine!  Can God be glorified in war?  ABSOLUTELY!

I have prayed YEARS for God to help my husband find a job, to get us a home of our own, to make me closer to Him, to make me content where He wants me.  Today it hit me.  If Steven never went to war, we would not have the money to move out when he comes home or pay off our debt.  If he never went to war, he would never get a chance to grow spiritually and find that God is closest to us when we are farthest from Him.  I would always depend on Steven to provide the security and strength I need, and never learn to lean on God and find His strength is PERFECT and can carry me!

Today is a sad day for me.  I cry because I miss my best friend and feel my heart is breaking in a million tiny pieces.  BUT today is an excellent day for me, too!  Today I can teach my child that God is amazing in power and has angels who protect his daddy!  That He has angels who protect us!!!  If you don't believe it, read your Bible!  It's right there!  I don't walk into this blindly.  It is HARD!

I walk into this knowing that my God is bigger than any terrorist and bigger than any situation I will ever see.  He loves my husband far more than I can imagine and wants the best for us.  I prayed for answers, and He is delivering!  It isn't the package I chose.  It isn't in the pretty wrapping I prefer.  But sometimes the best gifts are in simple brown packages, aren't they?

The end result is going to be worth the wait.  So I will come to Him and TRUST Him.  (matthew 11:28)  I want THAT rest!  I want to wait quietly in calm expectation for God to restore my strength and help me recover when I am so tired I can't even breath!  And I want to let Him lead me the next year, bc I KNOW that where He goes, only good results will follow.  It won't be easy.  It's going to hurt and I am going to fall, but thankfully when I cry out; He IMMEDIATELY reaches out and picks me up!

So I ask, what is in your brown package?  Did you miss your little God hugs today?  Watch for them!  They ARE there!

So I sat down and watched Alex terrorize the poor seagulls and just prayed...."God please give me peace. Peace and strength...." So when i got up, I looked down and this is what the bench said.....What an amazing God!