Reflection....

In case you don't know, today is my 8 year wedding anniversary.  8 Years ago today I committed to love a man for the rest of my life.  On days like today I reflect upon my life and things that have happened.  I'm so glad to have made the choice to spend my life with my amazing husband.  And though we are apart for this special day, I still decided to celebrate!  How, you ask?

Why what does anyone do on their anniversary?  I went dancing.  OK, so maybe not, but I did go to Zumba!  The Zumba instructor at my gym is amazing!  It could be I think this because she is also a dear friend, but that's beside the point!  She is great!  It cheered me up and reminded me of all the things to be happy about right now.  I threw everything I had into my workout today!  I danced my butt off.  No low impact version for me!  I am already dying!  My legs are having muscle spasms!  My arms are like cement blocks!  I love it!!!!  I know I gave all I had, and I can never be upset when I do that. 

I left the gym for the grocery store so I could get something good to eat for dinner.  What else would we have, except Steven's favorite?  Mexican!  (A shame he can't enjoy it with us!)  As I am checking out, the young girl at the check out gave me commentary on all my food choices and finally asked, "Are you on a diet!?"  (Derrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!)  I said, "No.  Just making wiser food choices.  I have lost 55 lbs since my husband left for his deployment in January."  (Pride in my voice and face....which immediately fell at the look over and stunned gasp the girl gave me right before saying) "HOW BIG WERE YOU????"

Ouch!  That one stung.  I was too stunned to do anything besides pay and leave with my tail between my legs.  The more I thought about it the more I knew what she meant.  "You're big NOW, how big could you have been 55 lbs ago?!"  As I reflect this evening on my food choices and exercising over the past several months, I think back to my wedding day.  Yes, big mouth girl made me think of my wedding day. 

Right before I got married I had become very complacent in my diet and exercise.  Slowly I began to gain.  I didn't notice it at first, but when I realized I was pregnant, it was too late.  I had already become a "chubalub".  Once I had Alex, I just got bigger and bigger until...well, I was 5'2 and 278 lbs!  Something had to be done!  THIS is why I am so determined to accomplish this goal! 

This girl saw in me what I see in my reflection daily.  Though I HAVE done an amazing job and lost so much weight, (Insert back pat here) I have a LONG way to go.  If you do the math you will see that I am now 5'2 (which is honestly a generous height) and 225 lbs.  This is still very large for a person of my stature! 

Today is a good day for reflection.  Reflecting on the commitment I made to a wonderful man 8 years ago.  Reflecting on how far I have come in this journal, but remembering how easy it is to become complacent and lazy in my journey.  NO MORE!  Thank God for a rude girl speaking her mind.  It woke up the inner skinny girl ready to push her way out!